No motivation in sight

From Nihalla, Student (grade 12) —

In the place where I am studying, grade 12 is the most important class, as it decides your future. What really matters in this year, and in my country, is your marks. Unfortunately, I am in this grade this year. However, I am facing a very big problem which is "I don't want to study".

My parents raised me to be a top student, to always study hard to get good marks. But as I grew up I started to hate studying (well technically that's wrong because, I always hated studying but with time I started to ignore it) although my marks remained good, as I always got 90s out of 100, they were not perfect. I was never satisfied with them but never could I bring myself to study.

Now that I am in grade 12, I need to study really hard to get excellent if not perfect marks to be able to study in university, as my parents can not afford the enough money and I need to get a scholarship. All the other girls around me are trying really hard except for me.

I can't bring myself to open a book and start studying. I think that no matter how hard I try I will not get the results I want. I think that it is IMPOSSIBLE. Well, my parents and sister are always saying that I should try because I can do it but my answer still remains no.

I hate studying, but I must study.
I want to make my parents happy with my excellent marks, but I can't bring myself to try.
I lost hope in trying, I believe that I am not able to do it.
I know I need to but I just can't.

What makes things worse is that I don't know how to study physics, the exam questions are strange and I think that the answers are not written in the book.

Clare —

Hi Nihalla

Thanks so much for your message. I'm really glad you got in touch.

I hope it makes you feel better to know that you are NOT the only one feeling this way. Most students feel this way at some point during school, especially when there is a lot of pressure.

I'm not you and I don't know you personally, so it's a little bit hard for me to give you advice, but if I were you I would get a study plan together and try to stick to the plan. To me it sounds like you are quite overwhelmed and don't know what will happen when you leave school, and these are legitimate quite scary feelings, but they are also things that you somehow have to accept. No one knows exactly what the future holds — we just have to try our best.

That's why I think you need a study plan to get through this important year. It sounds like you are focusing too much on the 'big picture', and I think you need a concrete plan that holds you accountable — something that will help you get through the study you need to.

It also sounds like you are procrastinating study because you're not quite sure what to do, at least with physics. To me it sounds like you need to go back to the beginning with the topics you don't understand and try to understand them better. I would then start with some easier questions that you can answer, and build up to the harder ones. I would also talk to your friends and teachers to find out where and why you are getting stuck. The worst thing you can do is just stay quiet and not get help — reach out now and that will make studying so much easier because you will be able to see your progress.

Remember, studying can be hard and it's something we don't feel like doing all the time, but we all feel this way. The key is get a plan together and stick to it as much as you can. Also, it's really important to remember that you don't need to get completely 'perfect' grades to go to uni and do well. Try not to focus on 'perfection'. No one gets completely perfect marks. Also, remember to take breaks when you're studying. It's really important to refresh our minds, go for a walk, watch a funny movie. Your brain needs time to let information soak in, and it can't do that if you're at your desk 24/7.

I'll leave it there for now. Come back to me if you have any other questions. 

And keep me posted! I'd love to hear about your progress. I'm sure you're going to do great. You just need to take a breath, make a plan, and stick to it. The rest will work itself out.

Best wishes,

Clare